2 wks post partum

I can add images all day of my adorable children! Especially my new son. I worried, at the begining of my pregnancy, that I wouldnt know how to love a new child. It was just Monkey Face and I for so long that the idea of a new, strange child just didnt seem to fit. But I was SO wrong! He has come in and stole my heart!

In other news I am SO home sick. When I moved out here I looked forward to starting our new life, working towards an ultimate goal that would eventually be a blessing to our family. It was a wonderful adventure! Clay and I drove out here to get him into his dorm...that week was so fun! I went to orientation with him, checked out the campus, got to know the town. It was fun! It was exciting to find "our" 1st apartment. And when we moved in and started living together I couldnt have been happier. At first, for a few months, I didnt miss being away. I was wrapped up in getting settled and I was excited about possiblities. 5-6 months into our "rooting" I started missing family. Not Kissimmee, that wasnt a big deal, but I missed my family. The fact that my brothers fiancee (now wife) was pregnant with their first child didnt help and I blamed my emotions on my OWN pregnancy. The rest of my pregnancy was spent trying to avoid discussing "moving home" as my mother would try to bring it up every time we spoke and I'd cry like a baby. 2 wks after Piglets arrival and I'm crying about it again. How can my kids grow up with out their cousins?! How can my nephew grow up with out his aunt?! He has my sister but, damn it!, I want to be there too! I'm crying again. =(

My wonderful husband has no concept of close-knit family. He lived in Miami, with only his parents, until 10 than moved to Kissimmee. His granparents followed shortly and his cousins were close by, but his folks didnt really interact with them and they lived over an hour away. So there were no Sunday dinners after church, there were no dropping by mid-week to see granma and granpa. Holidays and special occasions is all they got. Even his own parents werent that close. He can go weeks with out talking to them and not be bothered. I on the other hand, get severly annoyed by my mother but I miss seeing her... oddly enough I miss hugging her. I havent done that in years but I miss it now. I miss the smile on my daughters face when she sees "granmaw" and I want my son to be hugged and loved on by his granmaw, aunts and uncle (tears again). I am so torn! I want to be with my family but I have to support my husband. I cant put pressure on him to "hurry up and do it!" if his dreams can only be achieved with time and patiance. But my desperation for my family has made me want to demand he get a move on. Show me a good reason to stay here. Tell me WHY we cant go home, where he can go to another school and still achive his goals but we can be with family and I can stop suffering.