Stuck in the middle

I'm not sure how many people follow my blog...matter fact, I'm not sure ANY ONE follows my blog. But here goes....


Monkey face and I have been dying to get back home for some time and now I'm worried we'll have to resign ourselves to staying in TX. I want to cry when I think of it. We made an agreement but I really think its bull shit puckey and wanna break it. Here I am mother of two, wife to one Wonderful Husband, sister, daughter, sister in law, aunt....I'm stuck with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I feel its in the best interest for my children to be home in FL. Home with their extended family to provied vital love, support and spoil sessions. I feel its important for a healthy child to be raised in a friendly environment. I feel I have more and more reasons that my WH COULD move to FL and still do his thing. And yet, he doesnt want to budge. And here I am, missing everyone, wanting to return home and dont feel I can.

I came to visit FL for a few days, a very unplanned, jetsetter mentality got me and the kids (still weird to say) on a plane and in FL for the weekend. Which was good cause WH and I have been on the outs and I needed a break from him. I was kinda hoping, in the back of my mind, that visiting would make me less homesick and I could stop "nagging" him about our agreement and just live and let live until Dec. But now, I feel more than ever, a strong need to get the hell out of TX. My mother is even trying to tell me to just leave, WH would HAVE to follow. But that doesnt sound like a wonderful plan. Everyone here keeps telling me, over and over and over, how I need to be home, I need to do it soon, I NEED to do this and that. I dont NEED to do anything, I desire to do many things but I am a married woman and I need to consider, if not sucome(sp) to my husbands desires. Which sucks ass butt. Being a Christian woman I have to let my husband be the head of the household. Being an imperfect woman I think to myself "I'm the bread winner, I take care of the home, I am the spiritual leader, I can make the choices alone"...Oh how I wish it were that easy.