Love Dare: day 30

Day 30:
Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.

John 17:11 (NIV)
Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are.

Thankfully Mr Wonderful and I are not like may others who are taking this dare. We arent on the verge of divorce. We're newlyweds, actually, and although we have tough times I believe its because we're still learning. I mean, he went from swingin' bachelor to husband and father of a 10yo drama queen and a newborn milk monster! I'm sure the poor man wants to run and hide on a regular basis. Than add in the fact that I was pregnant for half or our short relationship which included (more) drama, hormones, crying, worries about health for me and Piglet...I can go on but I digress. Mr Wonderful IS wonderful. He has handled our life, thus far, pretty well for a spoiled-selfserving only child ;)...as well as one can. Now dont get me wrong, he still has a lot of work to do. But I give him credit for doing what he's doing. I love him very much.

SO, with that said, I dont see a place of division in our marriage. I'll pray on it but I dont see one at the moment. We disagree on things but its nothing thats going to cause a division in our marriage.

Love Dare: Day 28

Day: 28
What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.

1 John 3:16 HCSB
He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.

I get my daily challenges from The Love Dare Official Site they have a community that members can comment on their daily challenges and how they plan to fulfill them. Sometimes I read them and my heart breaks for these husbands and wives who are truly struggling to keep their marriages in tact. I'm blessed that I'm not in that boat. Granted we are at a crucial place in our marriage but I'm hopeful that at the end of the day all things will work out for the best. I know Mr Wonderful doesnt want to move back to FL...at times I worry that he thinks I've doomed him to failure by "forcing" him to return. At the beginning I was worried that the move would lead to just that. But I pray on a regular basis for him and our family and the future and I'm confidant that God's plan for us hasnt changed, we've just moved to plan B. Our preacher once told us that our "plan B" may have been God's "plan A" all the time, we just werent aware of it. So, we'll see. But in either case I'm thankful that my husband DOES realize the value of our family and chose to come with us. At one point I didnt think he would come because he was worried about himself and not us.

This weekend I realized how dependant I am on my husband. I have NO "external life". Outside of my home I have no friends I see on a regular basis. I have no places I visit for my enjoyment. I have no family to spend Sundays with. I have my four walls, my husband and my children. Returning to FL will end that. Thank the good Lord. Because that isnt healthy.

Usually when I get into writing my dare I have no clue how I'll fulfill it and by the time I finish writing the intro I have my ah ha! moment. It took me a while to get it today (it was right about ....^...there) but I realized I shouldnt be deciding what Mr Wonderful needs, I should be asking what he needs. When I get home tonight I'll ask him.

Love dare: day 26

Love dare - day 26
Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.

Romans 2:1 HCSB
When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things.

Areas of wrongdoing... I'm not perfect but I cant place my finger on my areas of wrongdoing. I started this love dare because Mr Wonderful was acting like a complete @ss and I couldnt stand to be around him. But I didnt want my marriage to end and I didnt want my family to suffer and most of all, I wasnt willing to say I failed....and during the whole time he was acting like an @ss I wasnt acting much better. **LIGHTBULB** My area of wrong doing was "nagging" him (although *I* wouldnt call it that, he would) and arguing with him when in reality I should have been trying to talk to him more. He even told me that I've become a "nagging wife" ::GASP!:: something I NEVER wanted to become. I will apologize to him for that. Tonight when I get home from work I'll sit with him and apologize for my abhorrent behavior.

Sleepy Tuesday

Today is day 25 of the Love Dare but I havent posted any entries because they havent applied to me.

Day 23: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse



Day 24: End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed—today—and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.



I have no addiction or influence stealing affections from my husband or marriage. I used to allow others to sway my thinking. But since last year I havent allowed those voices to make a difference in my behavior or way of thinking. I also have no hidden lust. I lust after my husband and the love, joy and comfort he can bring me by his precense and affection. I enjoy him SO much! However, day 25 DOES apply to me...



Love Dare: day 25

Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”



2 Corinthians 2:10 (NIV)

What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ.

Love Dare: Day 21

Love dare - day 20

Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thirty-one—a full month’s supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him. The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire.



Isaiah 58:11

The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Yesterday I was in such a crappy mood that I got my dare days mixed up. I was dispirited, downhearted, dysphoric (I'm looking up new words to use ^_^)...just not in a good place. Mr Wonderful, although the name doesnt always seem to fit, unintentionally did something that really hurt me and I couldnt help but cry all morning. He was clueless of course. But I mentioned something to him about it later in the day and he said he'd work on correcting the issue. But when I got home, once again, for the second night in a row, I didnt get any time with him. I wont get any tonight and none tomorrow either. A happy woman this does not make. I miss him. On the plus side we're taking steps to ensure our move. I'm excited!

Love Dare: Day 19

Love Dare - Day 19

Look back over the dares from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love? Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.

1 John 4:7 (NIV)

Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.


When I look back at these dares I realize that I had a hard time with any that delt directly with Mr Wonderful. Not that I didnt want to do them (except for that time I was mad) but that I was at a loss for what I should do. I couldnt buy any thing cause I was broke, I couldnt take him anywhere cause we have the kids, I couldnt surprise him with anything at home cause he's always here! But I'm glad I didnt give up on them just because they were hard. I mean, what if I took that approach to my marriage?! I wouldnt have gotten married in the place if that was the case. I'm sure he appreciated every thing I've done over the course of the dare, thus far, and if he hasnt at least I made the attempt.

Love Dare: Day 13

Love Dare - Day 13
Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

Mark 3:25 (NIV)
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.

Nope, you're not seeing things, I've gone back to day 13. I was in the process of writing day 17 when Mr Wonderful and I got into a big argument. His temper is always a source of frustration for me and though I try to control my own temper, when I am pushed I tend to say hurtful things. And because I didnt lay the ground rules ahead of time we didnt fight fair. But I emailed him a lil while ago and told him we need a list of rules... I added more to the ones I already commited to:

1. I will seek first to understand, then to be understood
2. I will never raise my voice in anger or frustration
3. I will look for and own up to my own faults in any given situation
4. No mocking
5. No cussing
6. No hurtful comments

Sounds like we're back in kindergarten! lol But the basics of life are usually all you need. Mr Wonderful agreed that we need to work on that so hopefully we can keep each other accountable for that.

Love Dare: Day 15

Love Dare - Day 15

Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.

1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)

Live with your wives in an understanding way . . . and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life.



Although I hadnt even read this morning's challenge I offered to iron Mr Wonderful's uniform for him. He refused but I told him I didnt mind, I'd do it. He will be at work until 10pm tonight and than he'll be gone all day tomorrow with an out of town gig. When I get home I think I'll clean up his "man hole" lol... we have a sun room that holds the computer desk, 2 amps, 3 guitars, music stand, CD's towers (I swear he has hundreds of CD's). Ok, lets be realistic, this mess can not be conqored in an evening. Especially if I have a colicy baby and a needy 10yo. I'll figure something out. I'm sure he wont notice, just as he didnt notice the clean car from a few dares ago, but at least I am making the effort.

Love Day: Day 11 & Happy Friday!

So, yesterday when I got home I came in the door, started dinner, talked to Monkey Face about her field trip to Ranger Stadium, nursed Piglet (successfully, with out the shield for the 3rd day in a row, thank-you-very-much!) than faced my challenge. I was tired and didnt want to get off the couch. I wanted to sit with my son and ::inahles & exhales:: ahhhh enjoy his sight and smell and feel while Monkey Face yammerd on (and on and on) about the songs they sang in the bleachers. But I commit ed to making my marriage a better thing so I hauled myself of the couch under the guise of checking the mail, went down stairs and cleaned out Mr Wonderful's car. Granted I didnt have time vacuum it (because dinner was still cooking) but at least I emptied it of the mess. I'm sure he will notice and appreciate that in the light of day. Because when he left for work this morning it was still dark.

Oh and you got to love waking up on a Friday morning to Aunt Flo. NOT! I was hoping that nursing would stave off that "gift" from God but obviously I am not a lucky one. I am SO tired, and so sore and so bloated. I think I'll go home tonight and eat ice cream. ^_^

Love Dare - Day 11
What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Example: Choose a gesture that says “I love you" and do it with a smile.
Ephesians 5:28 (NIV)
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

I may be biased but I love this passage. It reads:

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—

Now doesnt that sound like the type of husband a woman would want? I am slowly seeing this type of behavior emerging from my husband. I can only assume its because of this challenge. He's been so much more helpful and more attentive, asking me if I need or want anything. So to complete today's challenge I did something he's asked me to do. He needed a Dr appt, so I set it up. Simple but he wouldnt do it himself and I can since I sit at a desk. all. day. long