Love Dare: Day 29

Day: 29
Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person—unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.

Ephesians 6:7 (HCSB)
Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men.

Wow, day 29. I cant believe I've made it this far. There were a few times I was too angry to want to continue. I didnt care to work on our marriage and didnt care to make it better. Than there were other times when I was so happy I thought I didnt need this dare. We were doing just fine. But this dare isnt only about our marriage, its about the individuals. I have learned a lot about marriage and life in general thru out these 29 days. I have 11 more to go, I wonder how much more I can learn!

Last night I finally got around to dare 27. Yet I didnt apologize for what I had planned. I apologized for forcing him to go to FL. He made me feel horrible because he mentioned how I "screwed him" by making him return. We went tit for tat (as Mr Wonderful loves to say) with "I didnt MAKE you go, I gave you options." "No, you gave me an ultimatum." "No..." "Yes..." than we got quiet and shrugged it off. I feel bad on a daily basis that I put him in this situation.

There is a part of me that says "Why feel bad, he didnt feel bad when he 'tricked' you into staying here?" and another part doesnt believe thats true and can handle feeling bad. This hurt isnt near as bad as when I looked at my babies and thought of them growing up without their family. Or when I thought about not hugging my mother for months at a time. Or when I thought about Not seeing my sister drive or my nephew walk for the 1st time! I can go on and on. The point is *I* sacrificed much to do for my husband and in the long run we werent able to make our move work for reasons...that I hope and pray one day change.

But enough about ME. As I've mentioned many times before I always pray for my husband. Every night before bed. I used to pray every morning too but the lil Piglet has made that difficult. I'm so tired that once Mr Wonderful leaves and my head hits the pillow, I'm knocked out. But I will take some time to pray for him today. And pray for God to give him peace about our move. And pray that God will help him with any hurt I may have caused him by doing this to him. I love my husband with all of my heart, I'd never want to do anything to hurt him. Even though there are many times he hurts me.