Day: 38
Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.
Psalm 37:4 (NIV)
Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.
As you see I skipped days 36 & 37. Those days had to do with praying together and reading the Bible together. I skipped them because A) we have family Bible study every week (even though we've been slacking lately it'll pick back up) and B) I can ask him to pray with me and read with me but to be honest I know it wont happen. Or at least it wont last. At one point he started having family prayer every morning, we only did that a few times before we stopped. I need to remind him to get back on track with things so that we as a family can get it going. Its not his whole responsibility but I forget too because I get preoccupied. So its my fault too.
I often say that I believe 100% that Mr Wonderful can have the music career of his dreams, and I really do, but I never pray for it. I dont know why! I guess I just have so much faith that it will happen that I dont feel I NEED to pray. But I will start praying now. Every night I'll add it to my God bless my family, friends and pets... prayer ;)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Love dare: day 35
Day: 35
Find a marriage mentor—someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.
Proverbs 15:22 (NIV)
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
My marriage mentor is Sharon. I talk to her about everything. And even though sh is divorced she doesnt have a biased opinion. She's very helpful. And I think once we get to Kissimmee, we'll be seeking counseling shortly thereafter.
Find a marriage mentor—someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.
Proverbs 15:22 (NIV)
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
My marriage mentor is Sharon. I talk to her about everything. And even though sh is divorced she doesnt have a biased opinion. She's very helpful. And I think once we get to Kissimmee, we'll be seeking counseling shortly thereafter.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Love dare: day 34
Day: 34
Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.
1 Corinthians 13:6 (NIV)
[Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.
Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.
1 Corinthians 13:6 (NIV)
[Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.
Last night I told my husband that I was doing the love dare the conversation went like this:
MW: what was your 1st dare?
Me: to not say any negative things and only say positive.
MW: is that why you've been so nice?
Me: ::laughs:: yes
MW: and this was today?
Me: no, it was 32 days ago.
MW: ::stunned look:: really?!
Me: yeah, I'm on day 33
.....pause and silence.....
MW: ::jokingly:: does this mean the niceness is going to stop soon? Since the dare will be over?
Me: no, because that was only the 1st day, you have to institute the (collective) dares each day.
....another pause and silence.....
MW: ::no longer joking:: so does this mean our marriage is trouble?
Me: it means at one point I did think our marriage was in trouble. So I started the dare and its taught me a lot and helped me change my mind set.
That was the end of that. I went and sat with him after I was finished cleaning the kitchen and dozed off under his arm and on his chest. The best place in the world to be.
I think Mr Wonderful tries to glorify God on a regular basis. But like myself he doesnt always succeed. So I think commending him on this might help encourage him...now I just have to think of something specific. This is hard. I have no clue what specific thing I could point out to him. When I get stuck for ideas I look at the Official Love Dare website but today it isnt very helpful. I mean the one entry there talks about a husband doing things he SHOULD do but doesnt have to and how appreciative the poster is. I thank him on a regular basis for being so helpful and running Piglet to and from the sitters. And being helpful around the house when he can. So...20mins into writing this blog I sent him a text. I wasnt exactly sure what I was going to write but I found something to say. It said truly what I felt "I'm so glad that you're a godly man & that you love me & the kids enough to sacrifice for us".
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Love Dare: Day 33
Day 33
Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.
Ecclesiastes 4:11 (NIV)
If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?
THIS is a touchy subject. When *I* decided to move back to Florida I didnt include him in my choice. I tired, I really did, but it didnt end up that way. Its funny how this all evolved...ok, maybe not so funny and more odd. I got home sick while I was still pregnant. I got emotional one night and went to sit at the park for about 45mins and cried my eyes out. It was an ugly cry with fluids dripping from places all over my face. LOL I wished I had my family, I missed them SO much. But I pushed it to the side and told myself that I moved to Texas for my (now) husband and I'll just have to suck it up. Closer to the birth of our little Piglet I felt a little home sick again, I was upset that none of my family would be there for the birth but, again, I buried that and embraced the time as a new start with MY family. But soon after Piglet was born I couldnt push it off any more. Maybe it was because I pushed it off for so long, maybe it was hormones either way I brought it up to Mr Wonderful and he made it clear that there was no way we'd be going back. Now I could say "well, he didnt include me in THAT decision..." but I try (try being the operative word) not to base my behavior off others actions/words so. I prayed on it, I *tried* (there's that word again) to talk to him about it more but the more we tried to talk about it the more angry he got with me. It caused lots of arguments and stress. I prayed more and I thought about it more and it just hurt me more and more.
I mean, here I am, trying my damndest to make a life with my husband and children all the while I'm hurting inside. I gave up my life for the one I was/am currently living and I was NOT happy. I was just accepting. And for what? So my husband could be gone hours or days at a time working, leaving me alone with 2 kids (on Easter might I add). Or so my husband could focus more on his interests and wants while ignoring that of our family? Such is life of the wife to a musician but I am in no way enjoying this. How can I? I'm regularly left to be a single mother with no friends, no family and no life.
And all the while I feel tremendously guilty for doing this to him. People would think I'm nuts but I do. I love my husband. He IS my best friend he IS my soulmate. He IS my lover and confidant. I'd do anything I could to make him happy and I know that by doing this to him I'm hurting him. So yeah, I feel like a bad wife. I feel like I cant be a good mom and a good wife at the same time while trying to be true to myself as well.
SO yeah I didnt include him in my decision to move home and he didnt include me in his decision to stay here. We're bothpissed at upset with each other when it comes to our living arrangements. And thats a major decision that we really shouldnt talk about because it wont get us any where but angry.
Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.
Ecclesiastes 4:11 (NIV)
If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?
THIS is a touchy subject. When *I* decided to move back to Florida I didnt include him in my choice. I tired, I really did, but it didnt end up that way. Its funny how this all evolved...ok, maybe not so funny and more odd. I got home sick while I was still pregnant. I got emotional one night and went to sit at the park for about 45mins and cried my eyes out. It was an ugly cry with fluids dripping from places all over my face. LOL I wished I had my family, I missed them SO much. But I pushed it to the side and told myself that I moved to Texas for my (now) husband and I'll just have to suck it up. Closer to the birth of our little Piglet I felt a little home sick again, I was upset that none of my family would be there for the birth but, again, I buried that and embraced the time as a new start with MY family. But soon after Piglet was born I couldnt push it off any more. Maybe it was because I pushed it off for so long, maybe it was hormones either way I brought it up to Mr Wonderful and he made it clear that there was no way we'd be going back. Now I could say "well, he didnt include me in THAT decision..." but I try (try being the operative word) not to base my behavior off others actions/words so. I prayed on it, I *tried* (there's that word again) to talk to him about it more but the more we tried to talk about it the more angry he got with me. It caused lots of arguments and stress. I prayed more and I thought about it more and it just hurt me more and more.
I mean, here I am, trying my damndest to make a life with my husband and children all the while I'm hurting inside. I gave up my life for the one I was/am currently living and I was NOT happy. I was just accepting. And for what? So my husband could be gone hours or days at a time working, leaving me alone with 2 kids (on Easter might I add). Or so my husband could focus more on his interests and wants while ignoring that of our family? Such is life of the wife to a musician but I am in no way enjoying this. How can I? I'm regularly left to be a single mother with no friends, no family and no life.
And all the while I feel tremendously guilty for doing this to him. People would think I'm nuts but I do. I love my husband. He IS my best friend he IS my soulmate. He IS my lover and confidant. I'd do anything I could to make him happy and I know that by doing this to him I'm hurting him. So yeah, I feel like a bad wife. I feel like I cant be a good mom and a good wife at the same time while trying to be true to myself as well.
SO yeah I didnt include him in my decision to move home and he didnt include me in his decision to stay here. We're both
Monday, June 22, 2009
Love dare: day 32
Day: 32
If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
1 Corinthians 7:3 (NIV)
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
I am truly thankful that my husband and I have a WONDERFUL "intimate life". We've never lacked in that area. We may not have things we can talk about for hours upon hours but we have that connection. And I'd like to say I supernaturally new this was the next challenge last night when *I* was brave enough to initiate. Most all the time I try and he's busy with something else or tired and I get shot down. But I tried and succeeded and was very thankful I did :D
If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
1 Corinthians 7:3 (NIV)
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
I am truly thankful that my husband and I have a WONDERFUL "intimate life". We've never lacked in that area. We may not have things we can talk about for hours upon hours but we have that connection. And I'd like to say I supernaturally new this was the next challenge last night when *I* was brave enough to initiate. Most all the time I try and he's busy with something else or tired and I get shot down. But I tried and succeeded and was very thankful I did :D
Friday, June 19, 2009
Please pray for Stellan
I'm sure not many people read my blog. But for the few who do. And the few that believe in a God above. Please take a moment today to pray for baby Stellan. Stellan is a beautiful blessing from God who is a child of McMama & Prince Charming over on My Charming Kids. He has had on going heart issues from the time he was in his mama's womb. The Lord has a plan for him, what it is we do not fully know, but we do know that he's a fighter.
Be well little Stellan!
-Just Me
Be well little Stellan!
-Just Me
Love Dare: day 31
Day: 31
Is there a “leaving” issue you haven’t been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
Genesis 2:24 (NIV)
A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
I wish my husband would be brave enough to conqor his "leaving issue". But I'll give him the excuse that he is young and still learning.
Is there a “leaving” issue you haven’t been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
Genesis 2:24 (NIV)
A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
I wish my husband would be brave enough to conqor his "leaving issue". But I'll give him the excuse that he is young and still learning.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Love Dare: day 30
Day 30:
Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
John 17:11 (NIV)
Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are.
Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
John 17:11 (NIV)
Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are.
Thankfully Mr Wonderful and I are not like may others who are taking this dare. We arent on the verge of divorce. We're newlyweds, actually, and although we have tough times I believe its because we're still learning. I mean, he went from swingin' bachelor to husband and father of a 10yo drama queen and a newborn milk monster! I'm sure the poor man wants to run and hide on a regular basis. Than add in the fact that I was pregnant for half or our short relationship which included (more) drama, hormones, crying, worries about health for me and Piglet...I can go on but I digress. Mr Wonderful IS wonderful. He has handled our life, thus far, pretty well for a spoiled-selfserving only child ;)...as well as one can. Now dont get me wrong, he still has a lot of work to do. But I give him credit for doing what he's doing. I love him very much.
SO, with that said, I dont see a place of division in our marriage. I'll pray on it but I dont see one at the moment. We disagree on things but its nothing thats going to cause a division in our marriage.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Love Dare: Day 29
Day: 29
Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person—unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.
Ephesians 6:7 (HCSB)
Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men.
Wow, day 29. I cant believe I've made it this far. There were a few times I was too angry to want to continue. I didnt care to work on our marriage and didnt care to make it better. Than there were other times when I was so happy I thought I didnt need this dare. We were doing just fine. But this dare isnt only about our marriage, its about the individuals. I have learned a lot about marriage and life in general thru out these 29 days. I have 11 more to go, I wonder how much more I can learn!
Last night I finally got around to dare 27. Yet I didnt apologize for what I had planned. I apologized for forcing him to go to FL. He made me feel horrible because he mentioned how I "screwed him" by making him return. We went tit for tat (as Mr Wonderful loves to say) with "I didnt MAKE you go, I gave you options." "No, you gave me an ultimatum." "No..." "Yes..." than we got quiet and shrugged it off. I feel bad on a daily basis that I put him in this situation.
There is a part of me that says "Why feel bad, he didnt feel bad when he 'tricked' you into staying here?" and another part doesnt believe thats true and can handle feeling bad. This hurt isnt near as bad as when I looked at my babies and thought of them growing up without their family. Or when I thought about not hugging my mother for months at a time. Or when I thought about Not seeing my sister drive or my nephew walk for the 1st time! I can go on and on. The point is *I* sacrificed much to do for my husband and in the long run we werent able to make our move work for reasons...that I hope and pray one day change.
But enough about ME. As I've mentioned many times before I always pray for my husband. Every night before bed. I used to pray every morning too but the lil Piglet has made that difficult. I'm so tired that once Mr Wonderful leaves and my head hits the pillow, I'm knocked out. But I will take some time to pray for him today. And pray for God to give him peace about our move. And pray that God will help him with any hurt I may have caused him by doing this to him. I love my husband with all of my heart, I'd never want to do anything to hurt him. Even though there are many times he hurts me.
Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person—unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.
Ephesians 6:7 (HCSB)
Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men.
Wow, day 29. I cant believe I've made it this far. There were a few times I was too angry to want to continue. I didnt care to work on our marriage and didnt care to make it better. Than there were other times when I was so happy I thought I didnt need this dare. We were doing just fine. But this dare isnt only about our marriage, its about the individuals. I have learned a lot about marriage and life in general thru out these 29 days. I have 11 more to go, I wonder how much more I can learn!
Last night I finally got around to dare 27. Yet I didnt apologize for what I had planned. I apologized for forcing him to go to FL. He made me feel horrible because he mentioned how I "screwed him" by making him return. We went tit for tat (as Mr Wonderful loves to say) with "I didnt MAKE you go, I gave you options." "No, you gave me an ultimatum." "No..." "Yes..." than we got quiet and shrugged it off. I feel bad on a daily basis that I put him in this situation.
There is a part of me that says "Why feel bad, he didnt feel bad when he 'tricked' you into staying here?" and another part doesnt believe thats true and can handle feeling bad. This hurt isnt near as bad as when I looked at my babies and thought of them growing up without their family. Or when I thought about not hugging my mother for months at a time. Or when I thought about Not seeing my sister drive or my nephew walk for the 1st time! I can go on and on. The point is *I* sacrificed much to do for my husband and in the long run we werent able to make our move work for reasons...that I hope and pray one day change.
But enough about ME. As I've mentioned many times before I always pray for my husband. Every night before bed. I used to pray every morning too but the lil Piglet has made that difficult. I'm so tired that once Mr Wonderful leaves and my head hits the pillow, I'm knocked out. But I will take some time to pray for him today. And pray for God to give him peace about our move. And pray that God will help him with any hurt I may have caused him by doing this to him. I love my husband with all of my heart, I'd never want to do anything to hurt him. Even though there are many times he hurts me.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Love Dare: Day 28
Day: 28
What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
1 John 3:16 HCSB
He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.
I get my daily challenges from The Love Dare Official Site they have a community that members can comment on their daily challenges and how they plan to fulfill them. Sometimes I read them and my heart breaks for these husbands and wives who are truly struggling to keep their marriages in tact. I'm blessed that I'm not in that boat. Granted we are at a crucial place in our marriage but I'm hopeful that at the end of the day all things will work out for the best. I know Mr Wonderful doesnt want to move back to FL...at times I worry that he thinks I've doomed him to failure by "forcing" him to return. At the beginning I was worried that the move would lead to just that. But I pray on a regular basis for him and our family and the future and I'm confidant that God's plan for us hasnt changed, we've just moved to plan B. Our preacher once told us that our "plan B" may have been God's "plan A" all the time, we just werent aware of it. So, we'll see. But in either case I'm thankful that my husband DOES realize the value of our family and chose to come with us. At one point I didnt think he would come because he was worried about himself and not us.
This weekend I realized how dependant I am on my husband. I have NO "external life". Outside of my home I have no friends I see on a regular basis. I have no places I visit for my enjoyment. I have no family to spend Sundays with. I have my four walls, my husband and my children. Returning to FL will end that. Thank the good Lord. Because that isnt healthy.
Usually when I get into writing my dare I have no clue how I'll fulfill it and by the time I finish writing the intro I have my ah ha! moment. It took me a while to get it today (it was right about ....^...there) but I realized I shouldnt be deciding what Mr Wonderful needs, I should be asking what he needs. When I get home tonight I'll ask him.
What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
1 John 3:16 HCSB
He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.
I get my daily challenges from The Love Dare Official Site they have a community that members can comment on their daily challenges and how they plan to fulfill them. Sometimes I read them and my heart breaks for these husbands and wives who are truly struggling to keep their marriages in tact. I'm blessed that I'm not in that boat. Granted we are at a crucial place in our marriage but I'm hopeful that at the end of the day all things will work out for the best. I know Mr Wonderful doesnt want to move back to FL...at times I worry that he thinks I've doomed him to failure by "forcing" him to return. At the beginning I was worried that the move would lead to just that. But I pray on a regular basis for him and our family and the future and I'm confidant that God's plan for us hasnt changed, we've just moved to plan B. Our preacher once told us that our "plan B" may have been God's "plan A" all the time, we just werent aware of it. So, we'll see. But in either case I'm thankful that my husband DOES realize the value of our family and chose to come with us. At one point I didnt think he would come because he was worried about himself and not us.
This weekend I realized how dependant I am on my husband. I have NO "external life". Outside of my home I have no friends I see on a regular basis. I have no places I visit for my enjoyment. I have no family to spend Sundays with. I have my four walls, my husband and my children. Returning to FL will end that. Thank the good Lord. Because that isnt healthy.
Usually when I get into writing my dare I have no clue how I'll fulfill it and by the time I finish writing the intro I have my ah ha! moment. It took me a while to get it today (it was right about ....^...there) but I realized I shouldnt be deciding what Mr Wonderful needs, I should be asking what he needs. When I get home tonight I'll ask him.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Love dare: day 27
Day 27:
Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.
Psalm 25:20 (NIV)
Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.
Psalm 25:20 (NIV)
Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.
Nom nom nom...I'm eating a snack mix. When I was pregnant with Piglet I had this snack mix almost every day of my 1st trimester. Than I literally got sick of it (yuck =x) so I stopped eating it. Well I'm eating it again and its goood.
Any who. Last night I didnt fulfill my challange. Of course your curious as to why. Well thats because I fell asleep! Not only did I fall asleep while the baby was in his swing ::gasp!:: irresposnsible! But I fell asleep at 830pm LOL. My back was injured last Friday. I was scaling a steep rock wall and lost my footing, I started to fall when the rigging caught me and I jerked so hard from my free fall that my back twisted.....Ok so in reality I hurt it while putting my pants on, but thats besides the point. I hurt my back and I've been taking muscle relaxers and/or pain pills. Dont worry, I havent taken much so Piglet hasnt been affected, but it makes ME super sleepy. So when Mr Wonderful came home from rehersal I was knocked out with Piglet in bed with me, still in nursing position but sleeping. LOL Yeah, I was too lazy to get up and nurse so I laid in bed with him and let him go for it. Dont worry, he's an expert, he knows what he's doing.
Any way, I *think* Mr Wonderful will be home all day today and tonight, so I will talk to him tonight about "nagging" him (I hate that word). I will apologize for being difficult during the last few months and for becoming someone I've never wanted to become. But if I asked him where he believed I was being unrealistic it would be the area I always "nag" him about. I've asked him several times in the last year and eight months to please help me around the house by putting his things away. That is the one and only thing I really wanted from him. He didnt need to clean the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, NOTHING because I just needed him to pick up after himself. And he "couldnt" do that because it wasnt a priority...ok I'm getting off on a tangent. The point is I needed him to do these things and I bugged him about it but it isnt unrealistc to expect. Although he'd disagree. So in reality there isnt anything I should apologize for in that respect.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Love dare: day 26
Love dare - day 26
Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.
Romans 2:1 HCSB
When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things.
Areas of wrongdoing... I'm not perfect but I cant place my finger on my areas of wrongdoing. I started this love dare because Mr Wonderful was acting like a complete @ss and I couldnt stand to be around him. But I didnt want my marriage to end and I didnt want my family to suffer and most of all, I wasnt willing to say I failed....and during the whole time he was acting like an @ss I wasnt acting much better. **LIGHTBULB** My area of wrong doing was "nagging" him (although *I* wouldnt call it that, he would) and arguing with him when in reality I should have been trying to talk to him more. He even told me that I've become a "nagging wife" ::GASP!:: something I NEVER wanted to become. I will apologize to him for that. Tonight when I get home from work I'll sit with him and apologize for my abhorrent behavior.
Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.
Romans 2:1 HCSB
When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things.
Areas of wrongdoing... I'm not perfect but I cant place my finger on my areas of wrongdoing. I started this love dare because Mr Wonderful was acting like a complete @ss and I couldnt stand to be around him. But I didnt want my marriage to end and I didnt want my family to suffer and most of all, I wasnt willing to say I failed....and during the whole time he was acting like an @ss I wasnt acting much better. **LIGHTBULB** My area of wrong doing was "nagging" him (although *I* wouldnt call it that, he would) and arguing with him when in reality I should have been trying to talk to him more. He even told me that I've become a "nagging wife" ::GASP!:: something I NEVER wanted to become. I will apologize to him for that. Tonight when I get home from work I'll sit with him and apologize for my abhorrent behavior.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Sleepy Tuesday
Today is day 25 of the Love Dare but I havent posted any entries because they havent applied to me.
Day 23: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse
Day 24: End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed—today—and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.
I have no addiction or influence stealing affections from my husband or marriage. I used to allow others to sway my thinking. But since last year I havent allowed those voices to make a difference in my behavior or way of thinking. I also have no hidden lust. I lust after my husband and the love, joy and comfort he can bring me by his precense and affection. I enjoy him SO much! However, day 25 DOES apply to me...
Love Dare: day 25
Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”
2 Corinthians 2:10 (NIV)
What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ.
Day 23: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse
Day 24: End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed—today—and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.
I have no addiction or influence stealing affections from my husband or marriage. I used to allow others to sway my thinking. But since last year I havent allowed those voices to make a difference in my behavior or way of thinking. I also have no hidden lust. I lust after my husband and the love, joy and comfort he can bring me by his precense and affection. I enjoy him SO much! However, day 25 DOES apply to me...
Love Dare: day 25
Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”
2 Corinthians 2:10 (NIV)
What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Love Dare: Day 22
Love dare - day 22
Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, “I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.”
Hosea 2:20 (NIV)
I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord.
I thought this exact thought the other day. I have to choose to love him, even though marriage is hard and even though there are times he flat outpisses ticks me off beyond belief. I know a lot of my issues have come from my total dependence on him to provide me with joy and entertainment. And when he failed to do so it affected our relationship. It isnt fair, but when we came out here we were isolated from friends and family. At first it was fun, being here, having only us, depending on ourselves out carve out our own lil niche in this state. But I think it eventually became taxing for us both. He was too busy to do for me and I was tired of only having him. Even if that was all subconscious. Even if it was very conscious. I mean, think about it...two grown people, having minimal interaction with anyone but each other. Eventually that would ware on anyones nerves. Add in our own marital issues and this "adventure" was doomed from the start. But I'm glad we gave it a try, I'm glad we came out here and did our thing. It tested us as a couple and as individuals.
However, we're going home now. YAY! Cant tell you how happy that makes me. And Monkey Face. She cried when I told her we were going back home. I'm looking forward to meeting his new family member. Mr Wonderful's cousin had a baby girl, she's adorable. I'm also excited to see his grandparents, as my own grandparents sucked. My grandfather wanted nothing to do with us and my grandmother made little attempt. And of course I cant wait to see MY family and friends. I already have a lunch date with my girls at Olive Garden. Cant beat the soup, salad and bread stick deals! ^_^ My little sister also needs some attention. OH and my nephew...did I mention I'm excited?! Cant wait!
Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, “I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.”
Hosea 2:20 (NIV)
I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord.
I thought this exact thought the other day. I have to choose to love him, even though marriage is hard and even though there are times he flat out
However, we're going home now. YAY! Cant tell you how happy that makes me. And Monkey Face. She cried when I told her we were going back home. I'm looking forward to meeting his new family member. Mr Wonderful's cousin had a baby girl, she's adorable. I'm also excited to see his grandparents, as my own grandparents sucked. My grandfather wanted nothing to do with us and my grandmother made little attempt. And of course I cant wait to see MY family and friends. I already have a lunch date with my girls at Olive Garden. Cant beat the soup, salad and bread stick deals! ^_^ My little sister also needs some attention. OH and my nephew...did I mention I'm excited?! Cant wait!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Love Dare: Day 21
Love dare - day 20
Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thirty-one—a full month’s supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him. The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire.
Isaiah 58:11
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thirty-one—a full month’s supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him. The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire.
Isaiah 58:11
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
Yesterday I was in such a crappy mood that I got my dare days mixed up. I was dispirited, downhearted, dysphoric (I'm looking up new words to use ^_^)...just not in a good place. Mr Wonderful, although the name doesnt always seem to fit, unintentionally did something that really hurt me and I couldnt help but cry all morning. He was clueless of course. But I mentioned something to him about it later in the day and he said he'd work on correcting the issue. But when I got home, once again, for the second night in a row, I didnt get any time with him. I wont get any tonight and none tomorrow either. A happy woman this does not make. I miss him. On the plus side we're taking steps to ensure our move. I'm excited!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Love Dare: Day 20
Love Dare - day 20
Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, “Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner. But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace.”
Romans 5:6(NIV)
While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, “Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner. But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace.”
Romans 5:6(NIV)
While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
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